Chris: Do you wanna hear about the best day of my life? Cubs. I’d pissed myself by accident. They’d had us sitting down for ages and I was trying… trying to get out to leave the room but this kid kept blocking me, stopping me leaving, he was playing a game or something and, um… So I told him, right, that he was a dickhead, and that he’s gonna “get out of my way, dickhead”. And then the whole place went quiet cos I’d said “dickhead”. And then they were all laughing, everyone, and I couldn’t work out if it was cos I’d swore or if they’d seen that my shorts were wet, so I tried to cover my shorts with my hands, right, but that meant they all definitely noticed and then there was more laughing. But, yeah, Peter, my brother, he was, um, he was youngest-ever sixer or something. They’re the ones in charge, sixers. […] He stands up, yeah, sixer, and, um, and they all liked him, and, um, he takes my hand and took me to the toilet. And then he had me take my shorts off, and then he cleaned me up. And then he took off his shorts and put them on me. And then… he kissed me on the cheek, and took my hand, and we both went out there. Him just in his pants. No one laughed. Best day of my life.